“Know thyself.”
Soon after the pandemic hit, my love and I committed to bring our thoughts to paper, with a very specific intention. We journaled daily to look through a microscope at how we think unconsciously, how we reacted to life because of it, how we recovered from our reactions, and how we wanted to think differently the next day. It was a process inspired by an interview we listened to with Dr. Joe Dispenza on Jay Shetty’s podcast, On Purpose.
It was our deep dive into the space between with our eyes closed and with our eyes open.
We looked closely at the thousands of thoughts that come up in our day and in meditation that are typically unconscious. We recognized that a lot of it was disempowering and the same repetitive thoughts from the day before, the day before that and the day before that. We also noticed the connection between these diminishing thoughts and the unwanted feelings and outcomes we were experiencing in our lives.
At some point something shifted. Diving deep within, we hit the root thoughts from which all our thoughts and feelings spring. It was clear that we weren’t a victim to our circumstances but to the barrage of our unconscious thoughts and abdicating our free will to choose what thoughts we do focus on.
“Consciousness is alive with the will to live and love.”
In clarity, we are now in a position to consciously choose root thoughts in our favor. Empowering thoughts are now being repeated from the day before, the day before that and the day before that. Fulfilling moments are filling our days.
We journal every night with zero days missed. It’s an extension of our daily meditation practice. Living in meditation with our eyes closed and our eyes open is a way of life.
It has been over 888 days and counting. I’m not the same person I was when I started over 2 years ago. I still react to life, of course, but I can hold space for those reactions with a lot more love and softness than I used to and I can recover a lot faster than before. And it can only get better from here.
Without this nuanced awareness of how I think every day, no matter what changes I may make on the surface, I’m still recreating my past because of what lies unconsciously underneath my actions. With it, I have the power to create new experiences at the root level.
Deep Dive into the Space Between
“Inner speech reveals the state of consciousness from which you view the world.”
Awareness of the space between cultivates your ability to stay conscious the moment you think a thought that hurts, to pause for a split second to choose a thought that soothes, and you act on that thought instead.
This is a golden moment because in the sum of these choices, you create a life that reflects love, leaning on the side of love over and over again instead of fear.
These micro decisions are made in a split second in the space between.
In the collection of these moments you shift from being a victim to a creator of your life.
However, when you’re stuck in a feeling that hurts after a sum of unconscious moments you chose fear, the space between also offers relief.
In the space between, you realize your deep capacity to hold the hurt, yours and others, in your love. You don’t have to fight, deny or resist it.
In this golden moment, your love loves the hurt, embracing it with compassion and forgiveness.
In the collection of these moments, the hurt is soothed back to love.
You’re only a victim to your thoughts when you’re unconscious. When you’re awake, you get to choose them.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes everyday. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind (awareness, attention, focus). That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
“We don’t need to fix our problems so much. We need to fix our thinking.”
Stay tuned for the upcoming post about simple practices to cultivate your awareness of space between moments throughout your day…
Copyright © Photo by Eileen Cruz - Pacific Spirit Regional Park, Vancouver